Neppers

Der Postillon
Skiflug-Weltcup: Chaos beim Massenstart der Skispringer
Thüringer CDU fordert Experten-Regierung, bis Thüringer CDU wieder bei über 30% steht
Für Puristen: Durex stellt Kondom mit Penisgeschmack vor
"Oh, das ist erst für später" – Höcke streicht "totalen Krieg" aus seiner Pegida-Rede
Deutsche offenbar nicht fähig, ihr Gemüse selbst klein zu schneiden
"Wie geil ist das denn!": Teenager entdeckt im Supermarkt Gemüse, das aussieht wie ein Emoji
Muss nur Atemmaske aufsetzen: Cleverer Asiate braucht an keiner Supermarktkasse mehr anstehen
Clever: McDonald's eröffnet Bekleidungskette für Übergrößen
Newsticker (1463)

Gobierno prohíbe venta de interiores de la marca que usa Guaidó
Chavismo lanza Glock 17 como dirigente estudiantil de la UCV
Miliciano ataca hotel con misiles por servir desayuno americano
Detenidos en Aruba aseguran que 923 kilos de oro decomisado son para uso personal
Abre en Caracas tradicional arepera chilena
Peluche de metro y medio se convierte inexplicablemente en prueba de amor
Forky se reencuentra con su familia en acera caraqueña llena de basura
Enchufado se queja por el retorno del tráfico al valet parking de su restaurant favorito
Madre comprensiva con la economía le dice a hijo que su casa sí es un motel
Traje azul de Guaidó responsabiliza al gobierno de cualquier cosa que pueda pasarle

freewoodpost
Tips to Help You Become a Better Lover
Is being in a Relationship hard? What you can do to change it
The Next Big Thing in Las Vegas Escorts
Powerful Pickup Strategies You Probably Aren’t Using

Kevin Hart to Replace Jussie Smollett in ‘Empire’ Hollywood Sources Say
Virginia Officials Embrace Blackface History Month
Trump Paints Himself Into A Corner in Oval Office
Trump White House Prepares Pardons for Two Jive-Ass Turkeys
Alex Jones Suggests Flying False Flag at Half-Staff for Shooting Victims

Facebook ‘Doppelganger challenge’ brings record usage of phrase “Pfft yeah OK mate”
Superforecaster fails to see the bloody obvious coming
Downing Street special advisers have smaller than average brains, finds study
World’s bellends demand instant vaccine as Coronavirus hits iPhone production
EU can shove its generous flood defence fund insist Brexiters up to their necks in water
Met Office hoping that £1.2 billion investment in new supercomputer delivers more than ’42’
Health experts recommend eating more vegans
Tories join ‘Be Kind’ campaign by giving top job to unemployable advocate for eugenics and forced sterilisation
Tabloids take break from deciding which celeb to take down this week to write sympathetically on Caroline Flack ‘tragedy’
Do YOU have what it takes to be the new Chancellor? Take our interactive test to find out!

Government seeks to attract time traveller tourists from the future
Change UK one year anniversary party ‘falls apart in chaos’
UK in talks with China over high-speed import of Coronavirus
Chancellor of Exchequer to become zero-hour contract
Man fails job interview due to character reference from Prince Andrew
Trump denies ever being in a relationship with Storm Dennis.
‘No, we actually promised a Northern Poor House’ says Johnson
CHINA OFFERED PLACE IN GOVERNMENT

Queiroz se esconde na greve dos petroleiros para não ser visto pela imprensa
Bolsonaro e Guedes chamam Jorge Jesus para explicar dólar em outro patamar
Lula vai ao Vaticano para abençoar o Papa
Bolsonaro se irrita com Guedes por falar mais merda que ele
Pobre de direita só poderá entrar na classe média pela porta de serviço, diz Guedes
Paulo Guedes lança a nova CPMF: Contribuição do Pobre que vê o Mickey nas Férias
Fumaça de queima de arquivo na Bahia chega a Brasília
Julgar que alguém é pobre pela cor de sua pele não é racismo, diz pessoa que foi racista
Além de emitir documentos, cartórios passam a marcar gado
Brasileiros vindos da China não poderão ler noticiário daqui para não fugirem de volta

Snopes.com
Barr Tells People He Might Quit Over Trump Tweets
No, This Alaska Airlines ‘Anniversary Offer’ Is Not Real
Ultimate Choice: Tennessee Inmates Wrestle with How to Die
Police: Girl, 6, Was Killed by Neighbor Who Then Killed Self
Songwriter and ‘Good Times’ Actress Ja’Net DuBois Dies
China’s Official Newspaper Mislabels Video Footage in Coronavirus Coverage
Was Coronavirus Predicted in a 1981 Dean Koontz Novel?
Did Mike Bloomberg Say ‘Anybody Can Be a Farmer,’ Tech Work Requires ‘More Gray Matter’?
Misguided Virus Fears Hitting Asian American Businesses

De Speld
Ouders van jongeren met keukenmessen ten einde raad: ‘We kunnen zo niet koken’
EU-begroting rond: iedereen legt evenveel geld in, en iedereen krijgt evenveel geld
Quiz: Hoe geïsoleerd ben jij?
Wij hebben ergens in Nederland een spiraaltje verstopt
Wij begonnen een Montessorischool in Saudi-Arabië en dat ging niet van een leien dakje
Manchester City teruggezet naar Eredivisie
5 relaties die wij kapot gaan schrijven
EA verwijdert Ron Jans uit FIFA 20 Ultimate Team
Mara werkt fulltime om iedereen te kunnen bedanken voor hun snelle reactie

Taco Bell employee arrested for serving his prosthetic penis in a customer’s burrito
18-year-old arrested for breaking into hair salon and giving himself a haircut
Florida woman arrested for forcing her boyfriend to eat the hamster he gave her for Valentine’s Day
Plane that disappeared in Bermuda Triangle in 1945 lands in Florida, crew members remember nothing
Mississippi: Judge orders brothers to take paternity test after sister sues for child support
Pakistani man sentenced to 1,000 lashes for masturbating to drawing of prophet Muhammad
Man sues doctor for $5M after not being told his prostate exam was being documented for Netflix special
Human cannonball miraculously survives being accidentally projected over more than 2 miles
Texas: Cannibal death row inmate is denied his demand for a human meat steak as his last meal
Woman rolls over her husband 39 times with her SUV after surprising him in bed with her grandmother

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