With friends like that, who needs enemies?

Somewhere on the interweb I read a comment that really made me think, or at least seemed to be trying. I mean: you write something on your blog, about octopi, octopuses or octopodes and someone being weird enough to try and have sex with one of those. Fair enough, one would say, but then, in your comments, someone says something that can only be interpreted as being aimed at you:

Er zit toch echt verschil tussen een naar vis ruikende doos en een inktvis!

One thing is for sure: our captain bloke wouldn’t stand for this. But he wouldn’t have to, not being female and all.

Anyway, so here’s Adam, having been created, been naming the creatures, done the full tour of the Garden of Eden three times over and basically being bored stiff. Very stiff. Stiff all over, actually. So he talks to God. “God”, he says, “I’m being stiff in at least one part of my body where being stiff somewhat surprises me, and I don’t know what to do. I had a wank. Well, more than one, actually, but I’m still very bored. And stiff again. Won’t you do something about it, please?” “Well”, God answers, “I’ve seen this coming, I’ve seen you coming, coming to think about it, which wasn’t a very pleasant sight, couldn’t you do it under a blanket, oh well, I’m omnipresent, for Christ’s sake, though he hasn’t been born yet, so I would be there, under the blanket, oh shit, where was I?” “Under the blanket”, Adam says. “Where I didn’t want to be, as I seem to recall”, says God. “Anyway, I’ll create you a mate, so you can lose your stiffy without using your hands, nudge, nudge, say no more.” “I’m sorry”, Adam replies, “I didn’t quite catch that last remark”. “Ah, shut up”, says God and he creates Eve.

A couple of hours later God visits Adam and asks how things are. “Oh, well”, Adam says, “pretty much the same as before, be it that I have been fucking this woman’s brains out, and am not that bored anymore. So thank you.” “Where is she now”, God asks. “She’s washing her cunt in the brook”, says Adam. “O shit”, God shouts: “You should have stopped her. Now all the fucking fish is going to smell like that.”

14-05-2010 21.23 | Door: Fish Finger P. (with a P that stands for Plastered) | Categorie: Beesten in het nieuws, Godsdienstwaanzin, Moppen, Yvonne van Hertum

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